This month has truly been one of the hardest moments of time I have had to endure. Let’s say that I have been tested time and time again in determining what the best course of actions were during difficult moments, accepting the condition of a situation, and moving forward with a positive outlook. Many can view my life, and definitely make an example of it, because there are many life lessons that I have experienced. On the other hand, I can also state that these experiences have, once again, shaped me into a better human being.
For the sake of focusing on the spiritual side of things, the deities have never put me in danger or in a negative situation. In fact, they have allowed me the opportunity to learn from my experiences, and use them for future, conscious reflecting. Maybe it is my Aquarian nature, but I choose to sometimes keep certain feelings, thoughts, and actions to myself. This isn’t the best way to handle situations, I know, but it avoids having to deal with life experiences. It becomes a constant struggle when I realize that the only way for me to advance and learn, spiritually, is to face life regardless of what it may bring.
The pressures of academic, professional, and personal life have been working in unison. It comes to the point where I just rather seclude myself in my thoughts and dreams, since there is no room for my negative mindset. As the month comes to a close, I haven’t had the opportunity to post as much on the blog as I would have liked. The positive thing about this is that I am working on my spiritual documentary, which everyone will have the opportunity of watching next month. I have been so focused on this project, that I have lost sight of everything around me. My mind and energy has been poured to finalizing my academic years (for the time being, actually), that many factors around me have been ignored.
As I am writing this post, there is a tremendous sense of guilt, because I feel that most of my experiences this month have been a result of my decisions. As a firm believer of “everything happens for a reason”, I cannot deny the fact that the universe works in accordance to destiny. Life is not by chance, and the workings around it are a result of some energy being poured into a thought and/or decision. Maybe I shouldn’t feel guilty, because that doesn’t do me any good, especially since it puts my soul in a delicate position. Based on my current circumstances, the fact remains that I am a crucial factor. I wish I could change things for a better, positive impact, but destiny is written for me to experiences all of these challenges in this time.
Before you come to the conclusion that I committed some serious, negative actions or energy, I have not. I did not do anything that would intentionally harm others, or create discomfort. The main issue at hand is that many of the situations I have experienced were a result of ego-centered and selfish motives. These two traits, readers and followers, are not healthy. They create mental and spiritual turmoil, in which the soul feels confused and in distress. Through meditation, mantra chanting, and deity reflection, I have overcome these feelings slowly. In fact, I can even write about these things, because I feel that I have to show everyone a different side of me. The name of this blog says it all; it is my perspective on life, regardless if it is good or bad.
One of the most pleasant sounds for me is hearing a thunderstorm. I love hearing the rain splatter against a window or sidewalk, along with thunder making its presence known. I think about these sounds, and envision all of my worries and doubts being washed away. This morning, I had the experience of hearing and seeing a thunderstorm pass through town. A part of me wanted to go outside, and just stand in the rain. I envisioned all of my negative traits and attributes being washed away by the rain water, creating a cleansing of my soul. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go this route because it would put my safety in jeopardy. I think that the thought itself is sufficient energy for this to occur, but only the near future will tell. In accordance to my desire to finish working on my documentary, I will close this post with this: always remember those who are with you, through thick and thin, because it is those who are there at the end.